I could just sleep forever...

Okay, so I nanny for 4 children. 5 days a week, 7.30am -6pm, and with children its not always a promise you'll get a break. Which I am fine with, I love my job and I'm aware 3/5 days there isnt any stress but when you get a bad week, you get a really bloody bad week.

So I had a bad week, then my nieces stayed over whilst my brother and his wife went to Rome.
I adore my nieces, they make me smile so much. They're beautiful, funny, smart. They're learning everyday, they're amazing. You get the picture, I love them right?

Well after a long week at work, what I needed was a break. Instead it was followed by an intense weekend of children, then on Monday/Tuesday to help my mum out (I should mention the youngest is 6 months old, and the oldest is 3) I said I would meet up with her so the eldest had someone to play with, as the youngest needs alot of attention.

Ultimately, that meant on Monday there was 4 children (I don't look after all 4 of mine on a Monday)
then today, we had six.
SIX CHILDREN FROM AGES 6 MONTHS TO 4.
I AM DEAD.

I'm going to sleep now, I have another three days then the weekend (although I'm still babysitting on the Saturday)
Zzz...

My dog.

I love my puppy so much, hes always there. Always waiting always loving. He is always there always comforting.
He's so gorgeous a 6 year old Border Collie. Alfie :)

He's so excited to see me, and is such a perky guy. Then when I'm feeling down he just nuzzles me with his wet nose and buries himself in me I can not describe how adorable he is. 

And he is so bloody intelligent. I know everyone thinks their dog is the cutest and the smartest and everything but holy crap Alfie is so obedient.

I love him with all of my heart - and sorry about the short weird dog appreciation post.

But honestly he's my rock.

Soulmates exist.

No, I haven't found "the one", couldn't be further from it to be quite frank. I'm beyond caring anyway, I genuinely need to focus on myself.
What I mean is I think everyone who makes an impact in your life is a soulmate to you, some are meant to last, others are meant to just open your eyes in a quick fleeting moment.

My best friends are my soul mates, in 2014 I became close to some people that I can tell is a "true" friendship. Some of the friendships were a case of rekindling an old fire, a small bit of attention and we were once again burning bright, another one was one of those moments where you realise how funny you find eachother and then you realise you've spent 4/7 days with them, and then theres the cyber ones. You may have met them, you may not. You may hardly ever see them, you may never meet them. But you talk every day. The ones who aren't too involved, or can take a step back and give a non bias opinion. An honest one.

If you know me, you'll know exactly which friendship you are, and chances are who the others are too.

So with my soulmates, I'm going to have the most memorable, most amazing 2015 ever, because thanks to these guys I get out of bed every day. They inspire and amaze me to keep going, to look around the next corner, to investigate that bit further, to get my next answer. I can guarantee you once I have found my answer, they'll be there ready to challenge me with the next question.
So no, I am not in love with them, theres no wedding bells and no babies on the way. But I do love them.

Its all about the money

I didn't know what I wanted to write about, so I looked into things I want to do.
One of those things this year is Disneyland Paris..

Now call me corny. But Disneyland is a special place for me. I went when I was 15 with my Nan and Grandad (and Aunt and cousin), but my Grandad got more disabled and so really that was my last AMAZING memory of him. We even got him on a roller coaster. He couldn't do much, but to see how happy it made me and Jack well, that was what made that easter break so special for him. (Or so he said!)

So for me I couldn't just go willy nilly to disneyland, it would have to be with someone special. Thats why I want to go with my best friend.
Unfortunately after looking at some of the prices it seems like right now that may not be do-able, but it got me thinking. Thinking enough to make a post.

How comes its the people who work hardest seem to have less. I see so many people who were at my school who have literally strolled through life and have some how "made it" and yes I am envious! Or people who land on their feet with literally no work at all!
Then theres other people where I'll take my hat off too and say no you know what you've worked bloody hard and you deserve that.

I don't go out every weekend, I am not a reckless person. I think the thing I waste my money on most is smoking - which is at most £45 a month. Some people spend that on a night out alone which they can't remember the next day. I have been working since 16 in the same career and worked my way up... so why don't I have cash which is disposable, easy to throw away? When is that going to be me?
I know I'll get there one day, and I won't give up, but I just want to be there today.
Good god its frustrating.